David and i reached a big milestone yesterday in our relationship as aunt and nephew. we knew that it was only a matter of time for it to happen, we just didn’t know when it would happen. i wasn’t exactly looking forward to it, but it wasn’t as bad as i thought it would be. in fact, it was mostly pretty funny and something that i will most likely use to try to embarrass him for years to come.
let me set the scene:
it was a warm evening in Raleigh. we had a big day together, you know, naps, eating, playing, lots of smiling. the usual. Kate and i had just finished a delicious dinner of steak and grilled veggies that we had picked up at the farmer’s market that afternoon. Dave woke up from his last nap and had some time to kill before going to bed. by the way, i’m now 100% convinced that babies have the best life – they lounge while they’re being fed, they sleep a lot, they get to ride around in this magic cart all day that allows them to sleep whenever they want, and they never have to deal with the dreaded, ‘oh my gosh i have to go to the bathroom so bad but my bed is so warm and i’m so tired but oh my gosh’ thing because, in their case, they just go. right there. in bed.
back to the evening, we decided David needed a bath…what with all of the visible grease in his luscious long locks and things. so, bath time it was. he got nice and lathered up, rinsed off, and wrapped in his hooded towel for me to hold and pretend he was a tiny newborn again. after a small photo shoot (everything is deserving of photographic evidence when you’re that cute), i laid him on the rug in the family room for some naked time before getting his pj’s on to go to bed. let me tell you, this boy loves to be naked. i can already see his future as an exhibitionist, but we’ll go ahead and steer him toward something a little less…well, you know.
so, we’re all hanging out in the family room naked (just kidding! the two of us that aren’t babies were fully clothed) and i’m playing with David, making him smile and scream a little and there it was. the dreaded warm feeling on my forearm and the flicker of a stream of something coming from his you know what. my inner clean self screamed, “OH GREAT MIGHTY, NOOOOO! THIS BOY IS PEEING ON ME. I’M BEING PEED ON!!!!!” but then i looked at the look of sheer joy and total satisfaction that he had on his face and thought, “game on, little dude. game on.”
and so, it was at that point that i realized i need to start making a list of all the pranks and practical jokes that i can think of to use on David when he’s old enough to understand what’s going on. and when he asks why, i’ll simply show him the video footage that his mom captured of the moment everything changed between us. and we’ll have a good laugh about it, i’m sure.